When does a mere flirtation cross the line
to become sexual misconduct? Flirtation is an important part of life –
attraction enhances almost everyone’s human experience. But sexual attraction
often becomes about power and a tool of coercion. Sexual harassment is a
problem that can strike at the heart of women’s struggle for equality in the
workplace and the world. And it’s troubling that institutions are often not
consistent with their responses to sexual misconduct.
Recently, I discussed this complicated topic
with Michela Morellato, a former Italian showgirl author and activist who
has had her own share of challenging situations and public scandals. In her
warm northern Italian accent, she told me, “I am a sexual assault
survivor. I know what sexual assault is, and like you, as a young woman I was
sexually assaulted by a powerful man.”
She went on to explain how a man in the
entertainment industry assaulted her when she was 18 years old and tried to
blackmail her into a sexual liaison, promising her work. Against the advice of
her family, Michela went to the police and a lawyer and sued him. “This
experience changed the way I looked at the world. I became feisty and
rebellious. I would not accept people calling me a whore and other names
because I was a victim of sexual assault,” she told me.
Michela
went on to write a book ‘A Talent for Trouble’, a fictionalized memoir that
describes her interactions with men, including a scandal that played out in
real life. US Army Major General Joseph Harrington came on the scene in 2017.
Michela was going through a rough patch at that time with her husband, a
soldier in the US military. They had a baby son and the marriage had grown into
domestic familiarity. “It just became routine. He was exhausted
from his work as a paratrooper and paid me less attention,” she said.
Michela
went to the gym daily to work out, and General Harrington began to take notice
of her. Unbeknown to Michela, he was in charge of the US Army in Africa from a
base in Vicenza. The flirting started with an innocent compliment from him.
At first,
Michela said it felt so good to be noticed. The general would watch her work
out at the gym so often that her boxing coach noted his presence. Michela
shrugged it off. “I love men and the flirting,” she said. “This
is Italy and here it is a way of life. My husband knows I am flirtatious and my
ways, he understands. I love the good attention of a man and he was just very
sweet and kind to me.
“But I think they should explain to American soldiers the culture of the country they are visiting in so they are respectful. I think the problem is that American soldiers who come here think they can do whatever they want, especially the high-ranking officers.”
Michela’s point is a valid one, as sexual
misconduct in the American military is a serious problem. The Department of
Defense estimates that over 20,500 soldiers are victims of sexual misconduct
every year, but only a fraction of these cases are reported. The military was
recently called out in a Senate investigation by victim advocate whistleblowers
including Amy Franck for not helping victims of sexual violence
and domestic abuse, with some cases resulting in murder and suicides.
Michela had high hopes for a friendship
with the general. She continued, “At first, I thought he will be a nice
friend; I can meet his wife, we will all have dinner together. But he wanted to
keep our a secret, and I did not like that. He kept trying to get me to come along
to his house but I never had an affair with him. He was smooth with his
flirting, not vulgar.”
There were hours of phone calls, thousands
of texts, and video chats between Michela and the general over a period of
months, all hinting that he wanted more than a friendship from her. In some
conversations, it was clear he was pleasuring himself. But she said she was not
going to be unfaithful to her husband.
“Eventually, I think he became tired of knowing I would not have an affair with him and suddenly he cut me off like he never knew me, threw me away like a tissue,” Michela explained, adding that she was hurt.
Obviously, a senior military man flirting
with the wife of one of his soldiers was potentially big news, and the
interactions began to leak out after Michela spoke to a member of an
organization called ‘Protect Our Families’. This individual asked Michela if
she would speak to a reporter. The scandal, which was already being whispered
about, quickly gathered momentum. Michela agreed to speak to a USA Today
reporter, on condition of anonymity, and the journalist promised her name would
not be made public. The piece was published, and the base started buzzing with
speculation over who the woman was who had engaged in inappropriate exchanges
with the general. A Facebook group of soldiers and spouses seemed determined to
figure out her identity.
Things started to unravel. Michela says
the reporter gave her name, without permission, to Army Intelligence at the
Pentagon. The Pentagon contacted Michela to testify under oath about her
communication with General Harrington, assuring her she was somehow protected
by the Whistleblower Act. Then they released her name publicly without her
permission.
All of the hostility on the base about the
affair began to be directed at Michela. She was treated like an outcast when at
the gym or picking up her children. The group of mostly American officer wives
became quite openly hostile to her. She was a social pariah.
Then, the US military retaliated. One day,
when out walking, she was almost hit by a car on a blind corner at the front of
the base. She asked the local Italian police if she could take a picture of the
dangerous corner, and reported what had happened. This image became the basis
of a charge of espionage (even though a photo of the same army base gate is on
the internet). The US military prohibited pictures of bases, and Michela had
posted the photo on a private Facebook chat between soldiers and spouses. The
military implied she had committed a serious breach of security.
Espionage is a serious charge in any
country. In Italy, even if the charge is thrown out it is ‘stackable’, meaning
if you are ever in court again it can be brought up. To Michela’s relief, the
Italian court threw out the charge, although the stress and difficulties it
caused her husband at his work took quite a toll.
She told me, “It is lucky I was already
a familiar figure in the Italian media. Imagine if this was another woman from
Russia or some other country? it would have been a horrible result for
them. Lucky for me I am known in my community and country and these charges
were absurd.”
I understood her bewilderment at the
charge, as I had faced my own accusations simply because I spoke the truth about my
experiences as a Senate staffer. Reporters would accuse me of being a “Russian
asset.” Bill Maher, dripping sarcastic monologues, dismissed the
sexual assault I experienced as some sort of sabotage of Joe Biden because I
loved Russia and publicly supported the Russian leadership. This led to me
being called a traitor.
The tactic was to not attack the veracity of what happened to me, but just make me so despicable to Americans that no one cared about what had happened. Neo-McCarthyism serves a multi-tiered purpose for the American government agenda, from dismissing misconduct by its elites to character attacks on those challenging policies and justifying military conflict. It’s a dismal approach to geopolitics, and disastrous for anyone in its path. The whack-a-mole approach by US government officials to accuse people of being spies or Russian agents has become redundant and lacks the impact it once did due to so many false allegations.
For Michela, the repercussions rumble on.
Even though the espionage charge was called ridiculous by the Italian judge,
she is banned from the army base except to pick up and drop off her children.
She is escorted by military personnel everywhere and, in her own words, “treated
like a criminal.”
Michela is very remorseful about her
interactions with the general, who was stripped of a star, forced to retire, and called “dissolute and immoral” for his
behavior. She said, “I think he was grooming me to be his mistress, to
have sex with him. I was contacted by other female soldiers who had the same
experience with the general. For them, the retaliation would have been even
worse. But I am curious why they take such harsh action against him and not go
after other soldiers who are violent and rape? So, I wonder if there was
another reason they wanted him fired.”
The mystery around his sudden dismissal
deepens when you consider his involvement in covert actions by the military in
Niger and other regions of Africa. In Niger, several soldiers were killed in an ambush on 4 October 2017. Just days
later, Harrington was fired. Did the military, which is normally so slow to
respond to sexual misconduct allegations, use this situation to get rid of the
general? An anonymous source stated, “General Harrington was not fired over
text messages; they didn’t want the connection of deaths of American soldiers
in the Niger ambush to a sex scandal.”
The weaponization of sexual misconduct
against those who are inconvenient is part and parcel of a deep misogynist
approach by patriarchal institutions. For victims of abuse, it is a frustrating
reality that powerful people rarely face the consequences they deserve, unless
there is some agenda by the power structure.
Michela has moved on from all the drama
caused by her being interrogated by US officials and says her marriage is
strong and her husband devoted to his career in the armed services. Michela
helped found the Never
Alone advocacy group with Amy Franck, Victim Advocate, and
whistleblower about the lack of military response to sexual violence and
domestic violence. “I like to help survivors of violence get resources
and justice,” said Michela. “I will continue to do this work
and speak up for victims.”
Written by
Tara Reade
Tara Reade, author, poet, actor, and former Senate aide,
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