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There are usually extremes on both sides
of any issue, and though few people would probably consider it “extreme” to
say that you can’t change your sex, or that there really are only two, the
conservatives are still missing the mark, in their own way.
The difference between the terms “sex” and “gender” alone
has caused much confusion and contention when it needn’t have. Many
conservatives would prefer to do away with the notion of “gender” entirely,
feeling it would obviate the need for conversations about multiple genders or
transgenderism. Without the word “gender,” we would only be
left with the stark material reality of the word “sex.” And in
that reality, we would be forced to reckon with two distinct biologies that
are, for better or for worse, immutable.
No one, no
matter how he or she feels, or how many drugs or hormones are involved, can
fully change sex. Certain sexual characteristics can be altered to resemble or
imitate those of the opposite sex, but a complete and seamless biological
transition is currently impossible. On top of that, sex change (or sex
reassignment care in more politically correct terms) is often associated with
health complications. Here, the conservative adage that “facts don’t care
about your feelings” is fully applicable. A baby is born male or female (or
in very rare cases, intersex, which is a combination of both) and his or her
sex is determined at the moment of conception. As the fetus develops, the
brain and body grow simultaneously. No one can be “born in the wrong body”
because we are our bodies. Male and female bodies are
distinguishable from each other even at the
cellular level. The left, while eager to demand that people “follow the
science” in other ways, refuse to accept this, and many have taken the
stance that drugs and surgeries can change the sex of a human.
If for
every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, it’s easy to see how the
societal pendulum would swing in the opposite direction when faced with radical
concepts like transgenderism, multiple genders, etc. Which is why, on the
complete opposite side of politics and culture, we have the far right. This
group, however you’d like to call it, generally has a tendency to expect strict
adherence to traditional gender stereotypes, citing anything outside of that as
somehow immoral. I’ve certainly encountered this as a gay woman in the
conservative south who doesn’t adhere to stereotypical gender norms. There are
still some conservatives who view masculine-presenting women as “wrong” and
who won’t tolerate effeminate men. Check the comments section of any
conservative news outlet when there is a story about a lesbian who happens to
have short hair and you’ll see a lot of childish “who is this dude?”
remarks. These comments, while mostly harmless by themselves, reveal a growing
backlash against “woke” gender ideology. This is to be
expected, but letting that proverbial pendulum swing back too far will do
society no good. Pushing your idea of what a woman should look
like or how she should behave isn’t going to get us anywhere.
It’s a shallow and unproductive stance to take. We have to be better than that.
We have to accept differences, and we have to make exceptions, just as there are
exceptions in all of nature.
I humbly propose a hefty dose of reality I
hope both sides can accept. While sex cannot be changed, gender expression (not
gender, but how it is expressed!) can vary, resulting in a minority of men
exhibiting more feminine traits, and a minority of women exhibiting more
traditionally masculine traits. There really isn’t anything surprising or
unique about this.
There have always been little boys who
prefer dancing and dress-up to football, and who among us haven’t known a few
tomboys?
In adulthood, these atypical gender
expressions are often associated with the homosexual population, and I don’t
think it’s a wrong assumption. We all know some drag queens and butch lesbians
(a word the lesbian community once readily embraced before they thought they
could become men), and for a long time, we understood collectively that they
simply exist as they are. They may not be typical of their sex in appearance or
choice of dress, but up until recently we never doubted their biology.
Can we please return to this reasonable,
grounded-in-truth world and then let people look and dress and act how they
please?
I’m sure we can all eventually live
side-by-side without pushing our extreme ideologies OR our personal esthetics
on each other. At the very least, we can try. In the meantime, leave children
out of it. That part isn’t up for debate.
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