Why does my girlfriend not love me anymore?

Why does my girlfriend not love me anymore?
Why does my girlfriend not love me anymore?

Many people ask how can they deal with girlfriends when they discover she doesn't love them anymore and what are the signs of this critical situation in their relationships we illustrate all that in this article to know how you can deal with your girlfriend when she does not love you anymore.
It can be hard to know what to do when a girl you love starts pulling away.

It’s normal to worry about why she doesn’t want to hang out with you anymore or why she’s stopped returning your texts.

However, it could just be that she doesn’t love you anymore. This is a difficult thing to hear and accept, but there are ways you can try and get her back that might work!

Here are 9 things you can do if your girlfriend doesn’t love you anymore:

Be honest with her

When your girlfriend doesn’t love you anymore, one of the first things you should do is talk to her about it.

Don’t beat around the bush about how you feel. Tell her straight up that you don’t think she loves you anymore and ask her why.

You can start by telling her that you feel like she doesn’t love you anymore because she isn’t returning your calls or texts and is giving you less attention than before.

By giving her the chance to open up with you, might make her open up and tell you why she’s no longer interested in you or in being your girlfriend.

It may also make her start to feel overwhelmed by all of the emotions she’s feeling and just need some space from you.

Don’t talk about what she did exactly, and be sure to change the subject every time you bring up the topic of her not loving you as much.

However, don’t be afraid to try and get things back on track by asking back if she still loves you.

Get her to talk about herself

It can be hard for a girl to tell you that she doesn’t love you anymore, so it might be best if you try talking to yourself.

This is especially important if this is the first time she’s told you that she’s no longer interested in you and if she’s never said anything like this before.

If your girlfriend is no longer interested in being with you, she probably doesn’t feel comfortable talking to you about what’s going on.

If you want to get her to open up, try talking about yourself and your various interests.

Talk about what you are studying and what you plan on doing after you graduate, or talk about a book you recently read or an upcoming ski trip.

If she doesn’t respond in a positive way, then it might be best to stop talking about yourself, and if she still doesn’t respond, then it might be best to let her go.

Don’t become too needy or clingy

If your girlfriend is no longer interested in being your girlfriend or loves you but can’t see herself being in a relationship with you, then this is probably because she doesn’t feel comfortable around you anymore.

Guys who start to think their girlfriend doesn’t love them make a common mistake.

They start to ask her all the time:

  • “Do you still love me?”
  • “How much do you care about me?”

Being needy like that turns off women.


Women are attracted to men who are strong in their emotions, not the ones who are weak. The more a guy asks her if she still likes or likes him, the less attractive he looks to her, and so on.

Most of the time, needy behavior turns into clinginess, which then makes a woman lose even more respect and attraction for her boyfriend even more quickly.

You could try making her feel better by giving her a hug and telling her that you are still in love with her.

But what if you notice that you’re becoming too clingy and can’t help it?

In this case, I would suggest speaking to a professional relationship coach.

Make her feel that you are committed to her

If your girlfriend starts to pull away or is no longer interested in you, then make her feel that you are still committed to her.

For example, if you are busy and don’t have the time to talk or go out with her, then tell her that you’re busy and will talk with her later.

She may be confused by this, especially if she feels like she doesn’t have as much time for you as she used to.

She might not love you now, but at least she knows that you are trustworthy.

Have a talk with her and make her understand that you are aware of what she is going through and that you have taken steps to change yourself so as not to make the same mistakes again.

It’s hard to go back to someone you once dated or loved. You have already established that you are special to each other and that the other person has feelings for only you.

Now, though, something has happened, and the two of you don’t seem able to get past it. Before you decide whether or not to do this, make sure that the relationship was really good and meant a lot to your partner.

How to find your soul mate in love


Show her that you miss her

If your girlfriend is no longer interested in you and has stopped contacting you because she is no longer comfortable with being around you, you can get her back by showing her how much you miss her.

For example, send a text saying that you miss her or call her after work.

You might want to show up at school or work to talk to her there instead of waiting for the two of you to meet up.

That way, you can talk to her closer to the time. If you are in a situation where you can’t get her back at all, try using text messages to show her that you really miss her.

So if she is ignoring your calls and texts, use text messages to get a response from her instead.

This will help the two of you re-establish the connection between the two of you. Then, when you see each other again in person, the connection will already be there.

The purpose is to show her that you are thinking about her and that you have missed talking to her.

If you do this enough, after a while, she will start to miss you, too.

Forgive her if she made a mistake

Women like the idea of being forgiven by their partners no matter what they have done because it shows that they matter more than anyone else.

They also like being forgiven for making mistakes because this shows that you believe and trust them.

When you say to her that you forgive her for whatever she has done, it makes her feel special and loved.

Even though you might be angry and hurt by mistake, since you are forgiving her, she will understand that she was forgiven and accepts this new reality.

Don’t get me wrong.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean that they can get away with whatever they want. It means that you understand it and accept it for what it is, and since she knows it, she will not make the same mistake again.

This is a psychological trick to get her attention back and show her that you are serious about getting your ex-girlfriend back in your life.

If you don’t have the time to go out with her, then show her that you are willing to go out of your way just to see or talk to her.

Talk with her about something she loves to talk about

This is a great approach if you want to get your ex-girlfriend back because it opens her up, and she will begin to tell you how she feels.

However, if you do this wrong, it can make things worse for the two of you.

Always stick to facts, not ideas, so they don’t have any reason to doubt or argue with you.

For example, if the two of you are discussing something that she loves and talking about it lots of times, then suggest asking her to go out with her friends on a date night.

She can take part in an activity that she loves and talk about it together. For example, if she loves going shopping, you can go shopping together with her.

Take good care of yourself, so she will notice and want you back

When you take good care of yourself, it shows that you are serious about getting your ex-girlfriend back.

When women see that their boyfriends or husbands are not taking care of themselves, it makes them wonder whether the two of them are still together because she doesn’t want to be with someone who is not taking care of themselves.

Give her space to re-evaluate

If you are no longer able to be with your girlfriend, then don’t stick around and keep reminding her of the past.

Let her move on, and give her some space to re-evaluate herself and the things you have done together.

If she still wants you back in her life, she will come back to you.

Don’t contact your ex-girlfriend or show up on her doorstep begging her to take you back.

This will only prove to her that she was right to leave the relationship in the first place. In fact, she might even be afraid of you if she gets sick and tired of you coming back and bothering her.

signs she doesn’t love you anymore

Love is that magical experience that can turn even the dreariest life into a blooming wonderland.

But when love is fading away it can feel like you’re wilting with the withered autumn leaves. If you’re in a relationship that’s going sour you may be stuck with all sorts of anxieties and sad emotions brewing inside of you.

What did I do to make her behave this way?

Why is this relationship such a drag these days?

Is this current rough spot in my head or is it real?

Am I trying too hard and actually making her pull away even more?

And, most of all: has she fallen out of love with me or is there still a chance to patch things up?

She’d rather spend time with her “girls” than with you

She brushes you off at every opportunity to hang out with the “girls.”

OK, great. Of course, you are glad she has her own life and female friends to hang out with and enjoy time together. Nothing wrong with that.

The problem happens a woman’s ‘friends circle isn’t always super positive and they aren’t necessarily going to influence her in a good direction, especially if alcohol and long rants about what dicks they’re stuck with end up becoming the topic of conversation (and does it ever not?)

Especially if your girl has close “girls” who are more on the negative and kick-ass-and-take-names side, there’s a good chance your dirty laundry will be getting aired and she’ll start to treat time with her girls as a fantasy power projection of leaving you behind (until she does just that for real).

So, what are you going to do, forbid her to have her own social life? Of course not.

Just be aware that if she’s spending every second of the day with a crowd of her girls and sulking at you when she’s around, it’s not a good sign. You have become the house-bound ogre who holds her down while time with her ladies is glamorous and free.

What exactly does she want “freedom” from? Are you that bad? It’s a rhetorical question.

Hopefully not.

Her new guy friends start popping up all over

Assuming you’re not a jealous guy, then your girlfriend or wife having male friends is no big deal at all. In fact, you’re glad for her and you might feel like it eases off the pressure on you to be Mr. Chatty at times.

Still, the underlying fact about this is that if a woman is getting closer and closer to guy friends and attracting them like flies, there’s a reason for that. And it’s not her being so in love with you that she just wants to dish to her new beard buddies.

Women lap up male attention – platonic or otherwise – because it feeds a positive image they have of themselves and boosts their self-esteem and confidence.

Obviously, men and women can be great friends without it having to be some fake-ass ego-stroking club. The point is: if your girl is wandering off and popping up with all sorts of new and old rediscovered guy friends, you might want to see that as a bit of a red flag.

Is every one of those guys gay? Do you want to put money on it so that at least one of them wouldn’t mind some time kissing your girlfriend after a nice walk on the beach and enjoying some sweet loving afterward?

Come on.

Even if she never gets close to cheating with her male friends, she’s clearly seeking out some emotional validation and connection that she isn’t feeling with you.

As a guy, how many of your female friends would you have turned down dating? Especially during a vulnerable or confusing time? Maybe you weren’t into some of them romantically, sure, but at least a few I am guessing you would have jumped at the chance for romance.

Similarly, with your other half, she likely doesn’t see all her guy friends as “like brothers” (although she may see you that way now if she’s acting this way).

There’s always the guy you never thought in a million years she’d be into until you glance over and see her sexting him and then find them in bed together the next week.

I’m not saying that you be a jealous control freak or interrogate your partner.

Just be aware that the new cast of The Bachelorette might be there as a replacement for you, not just for shits and giggles.

She doesn’t want to touch you or you to touch her

Let’s be clear, your gal or the girl you’re into obviously has no “obligation” to be physically intimate with you or touch you or massage you or drape herself all over you in sensuous bliss as a cool night breeze comes through the window highlighting her enticing raven-black hair …

OK, where was I …


If your woman is always avoiding your touch, it’s a good sign she’s just not feeling it anymore. Sure, it may be temporary or her own unrelated issue, but in most cases … it’s you.

She isn’t into you and doesn’t want a relationship with you anymore – and for whatever reason – even though she will very likely say it’s not you and she’s just feeling uncomfortable or bad about other things – it’s game over for you.

When you’re too available and desiring her affection and she’s not feeling it, it can create a vicious cycle of chasing and withdrawal where you become progressively less attractive to her until – eventually – her number one mission is just to get away from you and figure out a way to make you stop wanting to be with her.

Something has made you become too familiar, too easy, too needy and she may still talk to you or laugh at your jokes but when it’s time for the tender embrace of the night, she is nowhere to be found.

If she’s treating you like just another pal and dishing her attention and affection on other guys, you are now on the losing side of the love equation.

She’s bored

Women getting bored in a relationship is much more common than you probably think.

Would she rather sit on the sofa and re-watch Shawshank Redemption than go somewhere with you?

Having completely silent dinners?

Stopped talking about your days?

These are all signs she’s getting bored with your relationship and has probably fallen out of love with you.

The truth is, love is psychological. And if you want her to love you completely, then you need to play the game a little.

Something a little sneaky, but extremely effective, is to add a bit of ambiguity to your relationship.

Girls love drama, so sometimes act (a little) cold or distant and message her (a little) less than you usually do.


It’s a psychological fact that when we fear we’re going to lose something, we want it 10x more.

Humans hate losing shit. And when it comes to love, women are absolutely no exception.

She just doesn’t give a rip

If you’ve had bad breakups and rough relationships before, then you know the feeling of a toxic connection.

Constant fights and brutal insults followed by passionate makeup sex. Building someone up just to break them down. Using vulnerabilities to attack your partner. Feelings of betrayal, inadequacy, and deep disappointment.

Sadly, people in love do this all the time when they haven’t yet healed the wounds within themselves.

People who aren’t in love don’t usually do this. They generally just … don’t care.

If she’s fallen out of love with you, chances are she’s checked out emotionally and in most other ways.

One-word answers, quick pecks on the cheek, avoided eye contact, and generally, uninterested behavior should tell you all you need to know. These are all classic signs of avoidance and someone who is no longer in love.

The harsh truth is that a woman can feel a lot of resentment toward you but still love you, but when she loses respect for you, love goes along with it. 

The thing is, relationships can be confusing and overwhelming. Sometimes you’ve hit a wall and you really don’t know what to do next. 

I know how you feel. It’s an uphill climb to make a relationship fulfilling. 

I once got seriously devastated when a girl I was dating started showing less interest after seeing me have an anxiety attack.

I became clingy and dependent on her validation as a result. It was a big blow to my self-esteem and self-image.

That’s when I started getting outside help. I was skeptical about it at first, but I had nothing to lose.

And my advice for you is this: Don’t get into deep trouble before taking action. Find out what you can do today to rebuild trust and affection. 

In just a few minutes, you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.


She trash-talks you to friends

Nobody’s perfect. Now and then, she’s going to have some negative words to say about you to her friends. But when she makes it into a habit, it’s no mistake.

How much does it suck to know the girl you love is out there dragging your name through the mud and making you out to be a pathetic sack of sh*t?

Well, it’s not great. This is a subset of her always hanging out with the girls, although she’s going to be more than willing to unload on what a jerk you are to her guy and gal friends alike – especially after a few drinks.

Have her friends started giving you a weird amount of side-eye and you can’t go out in public without an industrial-sized pile of shade being thrown at you? Some trash-talking may have taken place.

She could still be in love with you and venting, but chances are, she secretly hoped you’d find out because she’s using indirect communication to send you a simple telegram from behind enemy lines:

You’re constantly unsure of where you stand in the relationship

Have you ever asked yourself why love is so hard? Or why you constantly have to doubt her feelings for you or which way the relationship is going?

When you’re dealing with a girl falling out of love with you, it’s easy to become frustrated and even feel helpless. You may even be tempted to throw in the towel and give up on love. 

I want to suggest doing something different. 

It’s something I learned from the world-renowned shaman Rudá Iandê. He taught me that most of us aren’t chasing a realistic expectation of love and intimacy.

In fact, many of us self-sabotage and trick ourselves for years, getting in the way of meeting a partner who can truly fulfill us. 

We get stuck in awful relationships or empty encounters, never really finding what we’re looking for and continuing to feel horrible about things like heartbreak.

We fall in love with an ideal version of someone instead of the real person.

We try to “fix” our partners and end up destroying relationships. 

We try to find someone who “completes” us, only to fall apart with them next to us and feel twice as bad. 

She acts seductively around other men

If she’s Ms. Cold Ice around you but flirting with other guys, then you have something to worry about.

Sure, it could just be a game she’s playing to get your attention or jealousy, but if so a) why are you dating her? and b) where’s the limit?

Unless you get turned on by watching your girl fall all over another guy and seduce him (and I have a friend who does), then you’re going to feel exactly what most guys would feel when she’s texting, calling, and talking to all sorts of men in seductive ways: angry, disgusted and uncomfortable.

These are perfectly normal reactions. The problem is, if you get all worked up, she will use it as more evidence that you’re no good for her, so it’s a lose-lose game.

When a man flirts, it usually doesn’t mean much. Men are hardwired to chase new partners and sex (which doesn’t make cheating OK) but when a woman strays afield it is often for far deeper reasons.

She isn’t feeling satisfied in the relationship …

She’s angry with you …

Or, simply put: she’s no longer in love with you.

Even if she’s not cheating, that low-cleavage top she wore and the special look she just gave the bank teller isn’t for nothing. It’s a telepathic signal that says my guy isn’t doing it for me anymore.

She’s on a path of hyper gamy to trade up to the next best guy and you’re about to be left behind.

You’re not going to talk her out of this or get mad and make her “see reason.”

The only step to take is to start mourning the relationship now. If she’s gotten to this stage – and unless she turns back fully and comes back to you – your time together is already over.

Be cautious of her being “fake sorry” as a way to test how compliant and easy you are to push over. How would she react if you were falling all over other girls? Think of it that way and proceed accordingly.

You should move on as soon as possible because she doesn’t love you anymore and if she does, she needs to learn a much better way to show it.

She suddenly turns into Ms. Independence

This is where I should insert a bunch of politically correct stuff about equality, independence, and rights, and stuff, yes?

Well, you’re going to be disappointed.

If your girl has suddenly become Ms. Strong and Powerful Independence, it’s likely not because she just clicked the Feminist Channel on TV or read How to be a Baws by Lily Singh.

In fact, it’s much more likely that … you guessed it … she doesn’t love you anymore.

She’s taking every chance possible to tell you that she doesn’t need you and wants her own life and space fully to herself. When she loves you, she will want to let you help her – even when she doesn’t really need it.

When she’s not in love she’ll cast you adrift like an afterthought. She hates it when you give her any advice. She starts interpreting every comment you make negatively. She wants to make it clear you’re no longer part of her life plans.

You’ll notice it in all her behavior and it will hurt pretty badly, believe me.

Is she just getting her life together and embracing her inner strength or is she ditching you? Evidence points very strongly to the latter. Sorry, buddy.

She avoids discussions of your future together

If she used to brighten up like the sun on a cloudy day when you talked about future plans, now she turns away indifferently.

She looks annoyed, disinterested, and fully unengaged.

All the things which used to make her laugh, excited, and interested now seem like pale echoes of their former selves. This girl isn’t feeling it and it should be obvious to you by now.

When she’s into you, then talking about the future – even in a humorous way – will prompt her to become interested, attentive, and contribute.

When she’s not into you, then talking about the future will just cause her stomach to clench and make her want to put distance between herself and you.

Even a casual comment on your plans for an upcoming holiday can cause her to nod sarcastically and ask where you left the keys.

This relationship is headed into a very dark dungeon and not in a kinky way. And this is one sign that she doesn’t care about your feelings anymore.

It’s all her, all the time

Egotism is the cause of a lot of suffering, and in a relationship, it can sink even the most committed partners.

If you are with a girl who is naturally a bit “me first,” you may not notice this shift at first or may chalk it up to her having a bad week. But if it’s all her, all the time, it can be a lot more than just a one-off.

She’s putting her foot down and making it clear that you’re no longer in the equation. She no longer cares who’s right or wrong – or how you feel or what you think, for that matter.

She cares about herself and she will make that abundantly clear, using you as an emotional punching bag and as the recipient of ill-placed blame and toxic emotions.

That’s not love and it’s probably time for you to think about getting out before you start thinking it is love.

She cheats on you

If she’s been unfaithful, then there’s a very good possibility she doesn’t love you anymore.

When men cheat, it can often be for sex or out of a lack of self-control and being basically unethical person.

When women cheat, it tends to be in search of something deeper than just physical.

Women tend to cheat when they’re not in love anymore.

Not to mention the damage it will do to your relationship and your ability to respect and trust her in the future.

The circumstance of her cheating on you can be seen as an opportunity to call it quits and maintain your self-respect.

She’s sent her message loud and clear: she doesn’t love you anymore.

And she wants to break up but doesn’t know how.

Cheating in a relationship

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  1. If you discover that your girlfriend doesn't love you anymore, move on. She apparently has already begun to and, any pursuit by you at this point will only appear pathetic. I understand that it hurts and feels bad but, the sooner you let her go, the sooner you get over it.


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